shampooing with the stars

jonathan moisturizing shampoo

Oh, reality television…when will your chokehold on my life subside? wasn’t it enough sending kelly clarkson over to bitch slap me with those catchy pop hooks until they had thoroughly worked their way into my brain? i guess it wasn’t. now you want my scalp, too.
well, ok. fine. my follicles give up.
if you didn’t already know, this product’s namesake is jonathan antin, hairstyling star of the reality opera d’soap ‘blow out’. i know, i know - you’re skeptical. you wonder if superior haircare products really can be found in the center of a primetime basic cable lineup. you’re saying, ‘that mr. productaddict is just a star struck so-and-so’. well, i resent that - we here at productaddict are all about the products and no amount of paparazzi glare is going to sway us. that being said…
this is a completely amazing, totally luxe shampoo. i can honestly say that i’ve never experienced such a, well, almost buttery lather. and it only took the smallest amount to achieve such effects, so the bottle lasts forever (did i mention that frugal is one of my favorite words?) how does it work? instead of the normal sulfates and detergents, it’s packed with the likes of white ginger, papaya extract, rosemary, sage, and almond proteins. all of that is what gives it a smell that is clean, sweet, and honest. yes, honest - none of those so called chemical “herbal scents”. it’s also made with de-ionized purified water, which is supposed to counteract the minerals in tap water. true? well, considering most of my hair washing is done under the calcium rich tap water of manhattan, i’m hoping it’s true. anyway, afterwards my hair was super soft to the point i actually thought for a second…’maybe i’ll forgo the styling products today?’ well, as i said, just for a second. oh, and FYI - it’s 100% vegan, too. personally, it’s never occurred to me to condition with ground chuck, but it’s nice to know.
there you have it; looks like i’m fighting a losing battle against you, reality tv. so, what’s next? an avocado exfoliant from james lipton? a ‘dancing with the stars’ bronzer? Just let me know where and when and i’m all over it. until then i’ll be in the shower, enjoying my heady lather and belting out ‘since u been gone’.

sound investment: 8
does it turn back time?: 6
sensory satisfaction: 9
cool factor: 8
rate of addiction: 7.75

shaving: a heated discussion

billy jealousy hot towel pre shave treatment

Have you noticed the whole beard trend going on? maybe it’s another retro go around of the 70’s, maybe it’s some political statement on the plight of the Appalachian grizzly bears. who knows? myself, i think it’s just that shaving is no fun. it’s like a big boring gift delivered every morning, wrapped in a bow of monotony. i hear what your saying though – i, too, have always admired the grit and determination of our great american lumberjacks, hell's angels, and whaling captains – but this beard look is just not for me. so what’s a guy to do?
i recommend a little novelty, and the above product perfectly fits the bill. just like the name suggests, when massaged onto your face things heat up, literally. what makes it hot? well, technically it’s the addition of zeolite, a water activated heating agent. although, it’s just as easy to imagine floyd the barber magically appearing to give you that old fashioned hot towel mayberry shave you’ve always imagined. besides the heat element, this product also locks in moisture with natural citrus oils keeping the beard soft for an even closer shave. now the directions say to mix with the companion 'hydroplane shave cream', but i personally like to apply alone and let the heat soak in, then lather up. either way, this product will help keep that inner lamb chopped, van dyked hipster at bay.
is it a little gimmicky? sure, but if the vaudeville burlesque of yore has taught us anything, it’s that you gotta have a gimmick. somewhere I hope gypsy rose lee is giving floyd one hell of a fan dance.

sound investment: 6
does it turn back time?: 6
sensory satisfaction: 9
cool factor: 10
rate of addiction: 7.75

shea anything

l’occitane 100% shea butter

I must admit, I’m not much of a multi-tasker. truth is, i can barley answer my mobile while chewing gum. so i can fully appreciate a product that does the multi tasking for me. how do I begin to sing thy many praises of shea butter? derived from the nut of the african shea tree, it is truly a king among natural emollients. now blended, whipped and infused in all kinds of moisturizers, balms, shampoos, masks, etc., it’s starting to become a little ubiquitous, much like the jojoba oil epidemic of the early 90’s. my advice is to stick with the 100% pure incarnation above. i always keep one of these small tins handy. why? it’s perfect for chapped hands and elbows. your feet will love it after a long trek. it makes a great lip balm in a pinch. but while all of this is fine and true, might i also suggest that this is the best cuticle moisturizer there is? now, I know…cuticles? don’t we have enough on our minds what with global warming, worldwide political instability, and blockbuster late fees? true, but listen, I’m just here to help and those are some serious death valley nail beds you’re sporting. remember, it’s those opposable digits that are the only things separating us from the primates. so why not take a little care of them? do it for me, do it for darwin, do it for yourself.

sound investment: 6
does it turn back time?: 7
sensory satisfaction: 6
cool factor: 5
rate of addiction: 6.25

best firenze forever

santa maria novella aloe gel

Ahh Florence… what’s not to love? sure, the food is swell, the wine is properly inebriating, and, yeah, the art’s not too shabby either. but let’s get down to brass tacks, shall we? this city is a product addict jackpot. skip the duomo. pass on the uffizi. head straight to the officina profumo farmaceutica santa maria novella, where they have been perfecting my product addict dreams, for the past, oh, 400 years or so.
between the soaps, lotions, and colognes, there’s a lot to recommend here. if you want to talk instant addiction, though, it’s this aloe gel. what’s in it? well, let’s see…aloe, some aloe, oh, and just a hint of aloe. it’s like they bottled that aloe plant you had in college, only a hell of a lot less messy to use. the gel is light without being sticky, it absorbs quickly, and the smell is nice and subtle (think, well, aloe fresh).
over the years, i’ve found this product totally indispensable. a little chaffing in the winter, i keep a bottle handy on the dresser. a bit too much sun in the summer, I keep a bottle chilled in the fridge drawer. for those of you with alchemist tendencies, i highly recommend blending some in with your favorite face moisturizer year round. or hand moisturizer, or body moisturizer…the list goes on and on.
now, it’s true, these products are available stateside, so there’s really no need to transfer those miles to Alitalia. although, mr. productaddict still strongly recommends a pilgrimage to the source. where better to try out your new Aloe gel then under the tuscan sun, shopping for that perfectly tanned leather wallet while never having to worry you’ll end up looking like one. your inner george hamilton will thank you

sound investment: 9
does it turn back time?: 7
sensory satisfaction; 9
cool factor: 8
rate of addiction: 8.25

read my lips

menscience advanced lip protection

You look a little product shy…so we’ll ease into this carefully, ok? i totally respect that every guy has his own personal velocity when it comes to product readiness. for some the directions of a peel off facemask might as well be in hieroglyphics, while others wouldn’t blink at a five-step nightly eye cream regimen. who are we to judge? when all is said and done, though, there is really one common denominator; one product we can all agree is vital. no matter your age, race, or political affiliation; whether your membership card reads MENSA or the NRA - we all need a good lip balm. the question is which one to choose? first, let me state that I am no novice to the balm world. over the years i’ve tried countless varieties. some were all organic, but waxy with that hemp aftertaste. others had flavors like lemon sorbet and sour apple - they were totally useless. one had copious amounts of menthol that left an odd swelling sensation. trust me, bee stung is not a good look for any of us. oh, and what about those kinds in the little squeeze out tubes? could there be a more lint-ridden mess of a way to apply lip balm? then I stumbled on this one and am, without question, totally hooked. not only does it have some truly superior moisturizing properties from the olive and soybean extracts, but it also lasts for hours. you want healing vitamin e? this one has it. What about SPF? this one takes the usual 15SPF most lip balms have and ups the ante to 30 SPF, keeping those ultraviolet rays at bay. did I mention that it’s perfectly flavorless, too? I think that’s my favorite part. so there you have it, hope it helps. we here at prodductaddict are just here to guide you along; to shine a little light into that sad state of affairs you call a medicine cabinet. although, it’s taken me years to whittle down to only one lip balm; just remember that anyone can whittle - you just put your lips together and apply.

sound investment: 9
does it turn back time?: 5
sensory satisfaction: 7
cool factor: 6
rate of addiction: 6.75

hunting and gathering

Fear not those of you with a Y chromosome.... mr. productaddict is hunting and gathering his way around the globe in search of post worthy products. soon to return, detailed reports will follow. please be patient...